maggie and milly and molly and might
went down to the cemetery (on a dare one night)
and maggie discovered the bell that rang
so glumly she had been scared for days, and
milly in peace found her mother sleeping
who she was told was in god’s keeping;
and molly was chased by a horrible dog
which raced sideways while blowing out fog
might came home with a white wispy clone
as small as a world and as large as alone.
For whatever we lose (like a ’gale or a lark)
it's always ourselves we find in the dark
[Based on the poem ‘maggie and milly and molly and may’ by e.e. cummings]
- Siddhesh Inamdar
siddhesh.inamdar@gmail.com
went down to the cemetery (on a dare one night)
and maggie discovered the bell that rang
so glumly she had been scared for days, and
milly in peace found her mother sleeping
who she was told was in god’s keeping;
and molly was chased by a horrible dog
which raced sideways while blowing out fog
might came home with a white wispy clone
as small as a world and as large as alone.
For whatever we lose (like a ’gale or a lark)
it's always ourselves we find in the dark
[Based on the poem ‘maggie and milly and molly and may’ by e.e. cummings]
- Siddhesh Inamdar
siddhesh.inamdar@gmail.com
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3 comments:
One would appreciate the adaptation written by Inamdar after one reads the original poem!
maggie and milly and molly and may
went down to the beach(to play one day)
and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn’t remember her troubles,and
milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;
and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and
may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.
For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
It’s always ourselves we find in the sea.
Coming to the comment on the poem written by Inamdar :
Cemetary here used in the first couplet of Inamdar’s poem gives the reader an indication of the darkness that he will soon encounter. The cemetery here represents the fear hidden among all of us..the fear of the dark, the fear of death of our loved one.
Maggie discovers a bell because of which she had been glum for days. This couplet indicates the way one overcomes one’s fear by facing it! Unless you discover your fear, you cannot conquer it!
Millie finds her mom in the cemetery. This is kind of an antithesis to the first couplet. Millie who till now believes that her mom is with God, finds out that her mom is no more. She is in fact lying in the cemetery behind her house.
Molly and Might are both surrounded by unknown and mystic fears…Loneliness is also depicted in the line ‘ as small as a world and as large as alone’
Thus Inamdar has managed to look at darkness from various angles.
The last line though takes the cream!
A profound thought at the end of the poem
‘It’s always ourselves that we find in the dark’
Brilliant adaptation, Sid! You rock as always!
I've read E.E.Cummings of course and I have to commend you,above anything else for finding your own in spite of being influenced. Not once did you slip out of the leisurely pace of the poem. The punctuations, the alliteration of names, everything raise Cummings to a high platter and you right alongside him! Congratulations Siddhesh! You found originality on a ground touched by greats. No facile feat.
I have seen many trying their hand at such remakes; most of them failing miserably.
This one is an exception though. You have beautifully crafted this poem. Being on the critical side this time, the line that can sound forceful is, "which raced sideways while blowing out fog".
Other lines are so ingeniously written that they exude creativity periodically. :)
"For whatever we lose (like a ’gale or a lark)", too, doesn't make much sense to me in the first read. Though it can obviously be MADE TO make sense just as Kurt Cobain's lyrics are largely senseless but some find them 'amazing'.
Lastly, the line that's coupled with the above line, "It's always ourselves we find in the dark", is the best lone strong line of the issue.
** I bow my head to that philosophy. **
Summarizing my views, "I think it's one of the best 'remakes' I have been exposed to in the recent past;
It's always this poem I will find in the dark" ;)
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